In parenting, we have to give up control of our children.
In management, we have to give up full control of our employees.
In software architecture, we need to give up full control of our application.
Our human obsession for control hurts us. We don’t have control of our children, employees, or software. We never do. Let go of the illusion, and then we can build bigger solutions, and we can live happier lives.
We don’t have control of our own lives. Or relationships. We can’t know the future, and we can’t know how we will feel about our partner a year from now. No amount of rules or restrictions or agreements will give us control over our own emotions, much less someone else’s.
Embrace change. Embrace randomness. Influence, but do not control. Free your heart, free your partner, free your children, and free your team. Then together, you will go places you could not imagine.