When I snuggle with my youngest daughter, I sing her a special song called “La La Linda.” As I hold her and stroke her hair and sing, I am charging up the song by creating associations in her brain. Each snuggle links it closer to feelings of comfort and love.
When she falls on the sidewalk or is frightened by a loud noise, I sing the song again. This calls up those associations, bringing comfort.
Every time we code a pattern that is familiar to us, one that has worked for us before, we feel comfortable. Learning a new style is much harder – it feel less productive, it challenges us and makes us feel less like an expert. Yet, this is when growth occurs. Growth and comfort are at odds. [1]
Fiona Apple sings, “I’m good at being uncomfortable so I can’t stop changing all of the time.” [2] Change isn’t always growth, but lack of change is always lack of growth. So give it a try, be uncomfortable, relish in it if you can! I’ll take a feeling of learning over a feeling of expertness any day. The alternative: “you’re no good at being uncomfortable so you can’t help staying exactly the same” is stagnation.
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[1] thanks to Robin on Facebook yesterday
[2] Fiona Apple, Extraordinary Machine